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Story by Shannon Priem Forever is a long time. Longer than a child of poverty or neglect can imagine. Longer than most programs designed to help children usually last. One program, however, is making a promise that raises the hopes of children by linking them with a long-term mentor.  Zachary Harris eases his white Jeep to the curb in front of Bobby's house, and gives two short blasts on the horn. Bobby, a sixth-grader in Portland, Oregon, is already bounding down the steps in his oversized coat, a coat that probably fits the six-foot-two-inch Harris.
"Hey, where's your shirt?" Harris calls out the car window.
"Couldn't find it," says Bobby, as he slides in and buckles up. "Our lights went out and I couldn't find the flashlight to look for it." The grin seldom leaves his face.
He's off the hook this time. The shirt in question is his "Friends" shirt. Bobby and Harris have been good buddies for more than three years. It's taken about that long for Harris to gain Bobby's trust. They'll be together for a long, long time.
Ten years, at least. And if Harris has his way, they'll be friends forever.
Friends of the Children began in 1993 with a $1 million gift and an ambitious mission: to create lasting and positive adult relationships in the lives of troubled children. In that first year, Friends served 24 children. Today, it links nearly 200 children with a caring adult in 32 schools in the Portland metro politan area. A recently launched pilot program in Washington, D.C., serves an additional 30 children. The program has attracted funding partners including the Meyer Memorial Trust, U.S. Bank, the Heron Foundation of New York, the Hasbro Foundation, and Multnomah County-groups that bank on Friends helping troubled children through intensive, early intervention. Friends' costs-$14 per day per child-are minimal when compared to the cost of foster care ($12 to $50 per day); juvenile detention ($125 per day); and alcohol or other drug treatment ($130 to $150 per day). The 23 full-time, paid mentors in the Friends program each mentor eight children. The commitment of the Friends program is to the child: If a mentor leaves early, the child is assigned a new mentor to fulfill the 10-year obligation. The program began as the brainstorm of the Campbell Institute, a nonprofit research organization that develops support programs for children. Its primary mission is to support Friends of the Children. Portlanders Duncan and Cindy Campbell endowed $1 million to start the Institute and to help answer the question: "If you could do just one thing to help children, what would that be?" Duncan Campbell, who grew up as the son of alcoholic parents, had gained an appreciation for the value of caring adults. He recruited old friends Mike Forzley and Orin Bolstad to help create the foundation for Friends. Bolstad did much of the research into resiliency and risk theories before moving on to other work. "In 1967, Duncan and I were working in Juvenile Court in Portland," recalls Forzley, director of strategic planning for Friends of the Children. "We shared a unique passion for kids and knew there had to be a better way to reach them. We vowed then to make a difference." Campbell and Forzley went separate ways for the next few years. Campbell earned his wealth in the timber investment business, but stayed active in children's issues by serving on boards and commissions such as Children First for Oregon. He also was chairman of the Juvenile Services Commission in Multnomah County. Forzley has a long history of working with urban children and served as a teacher, counselor, and administrator in the Portland Public Schools. He established several businesses, including the national children's newspaper, The Young American. "Bobby, you know why we're going bowling today?" Harris asks. The boy hasn't stopped chatting since he hopped in the car.
"He knows," Harris laughs, flashing a broad grin to the visitor in the back seat. "He earned this because of school. I'm proud of you, man."
Bobby is on his way back into a "mainstream" sixth-grade classroom. He's smart and he can handle it. He also knows it's up to him to succeed. No more acting out. Bobby and Harris walk toward the bowling alley, arms around each other. Bobby breaks away and scrambles up the steps to open the door for his guests, cautioning them to watch their step.
Harris grins, holding his hands up as if to say, "I didn't ask him to say that."
"You wouldn't believe this kid four years ago," Harris says. "Angry. Everything was me, me, me. Took me two years to earn his trust. But that's okay, I got time. A teacher has only nine months to make something happen. I've got 10 years."
Resiliency research shows that children need a positive relationship with an adult in their lives. "That adult," says Forzley, "needs to have a long-term commitment to the child." Such a commitment is critical, he adds, when working with youth who come from troubled backgrounds, the very kids Friends seeks to work with. "We decided to go for the kids who needed help the most," Forzley says. "Some of our kids are buried so deep in the clutter of violence, it's hard to find them." Too often, these kids-dangling on that fragile edge of success or failure-only get attention when they fail in school or surface as victims of abuse and neglect. That's when Friends works with schools to find children who are at risk of educational failure. Forzley lights up when talking about "his kids." The commitment to Friends seems as fresh as the day he graduated with a Master's degree in urban studies from the Consortium of Colleges and Universities in Chicago. Forzley, degree in hand and idealism burning, was ready to save the world-or at least the kids living in the projects of South Chicago where he began his lifelong work with troubled children. "Traditional programs don't find these children," he says. "You have to lay on the living room floor with them. Imagine, suddenly an adult shows up simply to love them, and they begin to believe, they see another side of life they only saw at a distance. We found one boy and his mother, literally huddled in a garage." They sneaked in to go to sleep, Forzley recalls. "Two years later, after he was in the program, he came in carrying a violin case, asking me if I knew what was inside. He opened it with such care. Those kids are doing things now we never even dreamed of. I've got hundreds of stories, but the bottom line is so important-and that is if you want to save the world, you have to do it one child at a time."  "Gutter ball" Bobby yells to his friend Harris.
"Hey Bobby, you're supposed to give me encouragement, like 'nice try.'"
"Okay, nice try- GUTTER BALL!" Bobby dissolves in laughter, happy to have the last word when Harris laughs, too.
Bobby's had his share of gutter balls today, but he's taking it in stride. "That ball didn't like me," he says." It won't give me a strike." Bobby finds another ball, and sure enough, he gets a strike. "Told you I needed another ball. That thing weighs more than I weigh."
"Another thing about Bobby," Harris says. "He is so funny!"
It wasn't always that way, Harris confides. "Two or three years ago, this would have never happened. He went bowling and hated it because he saw himself failing. Now he sees us having fun and dealing with gutter balls. It helps him learn about vulnerability, not always having to win; little life skills that kids like Bobby don't always get."
The game was close. Bobby came in second. Time for a hamburger. On the ride back Bobby is leaning toward Harris. Time to leave, but Bobby's trip up the steps to grandma's house this time is much slower.
"I love my boys," Harris says softly, driving away. "Precious boys."
 Bobby and Harris have walked through college campuses, gone to ball games and movies, taken golf lessons. Their affection for each other is obvious. Harris contemplated leaving Friends once for another love-the music business. He was doing well as a writer and producer of Motown music, and his future as a musician was promising. "But when you're writing a hit song and the one thing you wonder about is what your boys are doing at school, you know where your heart is." Today, Harris plans to be in Bobby's life forever. "I love it when he talks about college," he says. "And he wants to write movies. If my life ever gets into a movie, Bobby will write the script." Being around for the long haul is perhaps the most astonishing and ambitious aspect of Friends. Imagine signing a 10-year job contract-a huge commitment to any line of work. When Friends describe it, though, it sounds like they're describing a dream job.  Jenna Forzley, Jenna Forzley says her commitment is strong to the eight girls she mentors. "If I ever thought about leaving, the only thing that would keep me is my girls," she says. "I can leave my family and my friends for a while, but never my girls." And the feelings are mutual. "I tell them, one of these days you guys will baby-sit for me," says Forzley. "They're already planning my wedding and looking for my boyfriends." However, Forzley says the friendship does not happen overnight. It takes time, patience, and understanding for the bonds between adult and child to evolve. "There was a honeymoon stage," she says, "when my girls wanted to be perfect so I would stay. Then they might start thinking that you're going to leave-like maybe the other adults in their lives have done. And they test you. Eventually, they know they're not going to shake you off." Building that trust is no easy task, and can take years. "One of my girls had what I call a death glare," Forzley says. "All she would do is stand behind me and glare at people. Three years later, she walks in and starts conversations with people." For another girl, it took a couple of years before she told Forz ley about a molestation incident. Children in Friends also learn to care about others, to give of themselves, and to support and trust others. "I'm going back to college now," Forzley says, "and sometimes I get freaked out. But then my girls say, 'When you do homework, we'll do homework.'" Both Forzley and Harris have been touched by the unexpected modeling influence they have had on the children with whom they work. "I wore a ponytail one day," Forzley says, "and the next day all my girls had ponytails." Harris is aware that the way he presents himself influences others around him. "That's basically how I teach," he says, "by doing and being the person I want to see in them." Friends must walk a careful line when first coming into a child's life. They must be aware and respectful of the child's home and family. "We come in slowly and as just another friend," Forzley says. "Parents are cautious at first. They're concerned, but they see what you're up to and you start having a good effect on the whole family. They begin to see their kids blossoming." The focus on resiliency in the Friends approach has been instrumental in gaining the financial support of the Multnomah County Children and Family Services office. The county has allocated $210,000 to the Friends program. Mary Li, Multnomah County Program Development Specialist, says the county was impressed with Friends' research-based approach. "We'll be looking at their indicators," she says. "But the anecdotal success so far is very exciting-every Friend I've talked to has a compelling story." Mike Forzley says the Friends approach will continue to show positive, documented results. "We're starting to be part of the mainstream of helping children," he says. "Ultimately, our goal is to be ranked up there with firemen and teachers."  At the Friends House in Northeast Portland, children gather with their adult friends to play, do homework, or just to have a space away from home or school. It is a sanctuary of sorts, with the atmosphere of a warm home complete with creative clutter and the echo of children's voices. In the kitchen, poetry magnets are arranged at a young child's eye level on the refrigerator. And in the clutter of letters arranged haphazardly, a child's poem appears: "Me and You Garden Flew." In just five words, a child has summed up the essence of the Friends program: friendship, growth, and taking flight. Shannon Priem is a freelance writer, equestrienne, and occasional marathon runner living in Vancouver, Washington. 
Friends of the Children lists 10 major reasons behind their promise to help at-risk children: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. SCHOOLS AND FRIENDS: Jenna Forzley patiently and methodically goes over some school work with Mary, one of the kids she mentors as a participant in Friends of the Children. The two hunker down over books and papers scattered across a desktop in a northeast Portland home that serves as a base for Friends. Helping young children appreciate learning and improve their academic success are integral parts of the long-term relationship that develops between Friends' mentors and the children they help guide through their elementary and adolescent years. Forzley and other mentors have provided more than 8,000 hours tutoring children during the program's four years. While Friends of the Children is a home-based program, it is also having a dramatic impact in schools. Two principals in the Portland Public Schools, Greg Jones of Clark Elementary and Joseph Malone of Martin Luther King Elementary, are sold on it. "The three children we've had in the program since 1993 are doing well academically and are fairly stable," Jones says. "Friends of the Children is a natural fit in what we do here, and especially with the families. Parents will often call a Friend instead of the school when there's a problem. I'm really delighted at what they've done." Friends are also bridging the gap between home and school at King. "They're giving kids a win-win situation, and other kids are benefitting, too," says Malone. "They see these adults come in, and this gives us more adult role models. They've paved the way for me to go into homes myself and talk about school. We're seeing attitudes change, kids being able to handle their anger in more positive ways. I have an office for them at MLK; to me they're part of the staff." From school to home to life in the community, the Friends program is seeing widespread effects in the lives of its youthful charges. In developing the model that has served nearly 200 children in Portland and about 30 others in Washington, D.C., Friends of the Children looked to research on resiliency-especially the effects of mentoring in a young child's life. The Campbell Institute, which founded Friends, spent a year exploring research and visiting other programs nationwide. "We took the best from each program to create ourselves," says Mike Forzley, the Institute's Director of Strategic Planning. "It was clear that you start young, have manageable numbers of children, and a positive expectation for them. But the most important idea is to create an extended adult relationship for a child." Each Friend is a paid employee and has eight children to mentor. "That's manageable," says Zachary Harris, one of the original Friends, who also handles community relations work. "That's what attracted me to the program." Mentor programs have proliferated in recent years, partly because of increasing evidence that they help children academically and socially. A recent evaluation of one of the country's longest running mentoring programs, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, showed widespread benefits. In Making a Difference: An Impact Study of Big Brothers/ Big Sisters, evaluators found that children with regular contact with a mentor did better than peers not served by these or similar mentoring programs. Researchers found that children:
Friends of the Children has reported positive results since the organization began in 1993. For example, school attendance is up 20 percent and behavior referrals are down 20 percent, and children have completed 840 hours of community service. According to researcher and author Bonnie Benard, resiliency research provides "astounding findings" that 50 to 70 percent of youth growing up in high-risk conditions overcome the odds to lead successful lives. Resiliency, she notes, is an innate ability dependent on three protective factors:
"The voices of those who have overcome adversity ... tell us loud and clear that ultimately resilience is a process of connectedness," Benard notes. "Kids can walk around trouble if there is some place to walk to and someone to walk with." The Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory is evaluating the Friends program, considering indicators such as percentage of children who stay in school and out of the criminal justice system; who report a positive sense of well-being and hope; who report at least one supportive and close relationship; and who are suspended or expelled from school. The Laboratory also is looking at academic achievement in school and overall behavior. RESOURCE NOTES: Copies of Making a Difference: An Impact Study of Big Brothers/Big Sisters are available from Public/ Private Ventures, Communications Dept., One Commerce Square, 2005 Market St., Suite 900, Philadelphia, PA 19103 (87 pages, $7.50 prepaid). For more detailed information about resiliency, see Fostering Resiliency in Kids: Protective Factors in the Family, School, and Community, by Bonnie Benard, and Vulnerable but Invincible: A Longitudinal Study of Resilient Children and Youth, by Emily Werner and R. Smith. FRIENDS OF THE
CHILDREN AT A GLANCE
Headquarters at Lent Elementary School, Mailing address: Founder and President Director of Strategic Planning Managing Director Children in program Cost per child Type of organization Commitment of families Evaluation
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This document's URL is: Home | Up & Coming | Programs & Projects: Northwest Education | People | Products & Publications | Topics © 2001 Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory
Date of Last Update: 9/28/01 
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Skipped half as many school days and felt more confident in their ability to complete school work than did their peers
