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Heeding the Signs Part 2 SEEDS OF Psychologists generally agree that extreme aggressiveness, especially in boys, tends to appear early, cuts across socioeconomic lines, and, without effective intervention, can continue in a progressive developmental pattern toward violence. However, Kevin Dwyer, David Osher, and Cynthia Warger, the authors of Early Warning, Timely Response, point out that the potential for violence is reduced significantly when a child has a positive, meaningful connection to an adult, be it at home, in school, or in the community. A toddler who has several temper tantrums a day, who is impulsive, distracted, and fearless, and who consistently refuses to do what parents ask is sending an early message that he (or, less likely, she) has not learned the normal social skills of regulating feelings, handling impulses, and using appropriate behavior to get emotional needs met. If this toddler becomes a kindergartner who disrupts classroom activities, attacks other children, cultivates few friendships, performs poorly in school, and creates discipline problems at home, parents and teachers should be concerned enough to seek professional help, according to the American Psychological Association. By third or fourth grade, without effective intervention, this child's aggressive behavior will likely be entrenched, and the stage set for more serious problems such as cruelty toward pets and other animals, fire setting, stealing, lying, and bullying. In most cases, the child will be a boy. Why the special problem with boys? A major identifying trait of boys is their tendency to want to be in control, explains Portland forensic psychologist Dr. Donald True. "Boys are more action-oriented than girls, more likely to act out impulsively and to think less about the consequences of their actions. They tend to use their assertive energy to change a situation if they are unhappy." All these characteristics are fine when they fall within the normal range of behavior, True says. But when a boy is not doing well at a moderate level-when he is being teased or bullied, for example, and feels a sense of powerlessness-he can overreact by trying to get too much control. Once he moves into this "hyperstate," the stage is set for violence, directed either against others or against himself. "Professionals who predict risk of violence have known for years that when someone is depressed and suicidal, they're potentially homicidal," True says. "So a young person thinks: 'I'm feeling like killing myself, but if you push me, I'll kill you.'" Girls tend to delay action if they feel frustrated, rejected, or angry. They stop and think, verbalize their feelings, and use less aggressive means to deal with their social environments. Girls are more likely to signal problems with inward-directed aggressions such as depression or eating disorders. Researchers who study aggressive children have found that without early and effective intervention, bad behavior tends to remain consistent no matter how parents and teachers respond. Cajolery, patience, and understanding seem to have as little effect as firmness, groundings, or even corporal punishment. Often emotionally disconnected from parents and other adults, aggressive children can seem impervious to the pain or embarrassment their behavior causes those who love them. Faith and Bill Kinkel, both experienced teachers, recognized their son's problems early and intervened in ways that would seem appropriate and timely to most of us. In first grade, when Kip was unhappy and bothered that he was smaller than his classmates, he was held back an extra year to allow him to mature. In middle school, when Kip had trouble with his teachers and his first run-in with the police, his father home-schooled him for several months so he would not fail the year. Kip told friends he was taking Ritalin to control his temper. By high school he was regularly seeing counselors and psychologists for his moodiness and anger-management problems. He began taking Prozac, an antidepressant drug. But the advantages Kip enjoyed -a tight-knit community, attentive parents, economic security, and professional help-didn't prevent him from growing obsessed with guns and bombs. He bragged to his friends in middle school that he had blown up squirrels. In high school, he gave a talk about bomb-making in a speech class shortly before the shootings. Perhaps the fact that Kip's parents -ironically, both highly respected teachers-were clearly aware of their son's problems and were trying to get help from professionals, prevented others in the school and community from intervening before it was too late. After the tragedy, many friends, neighbors, and classmates recounted chilling incidents of Kip's behavior that should have caused alarm bells to go off. Yet no one felt it was their business to "interfere" or take action. The authors of Early Warning, Timely Response emphasize that safe schools depend on everyone in a school community taking personal responsibility for reducing the risk for violence. Teachers, bus drivers, students, parents, friends, administrators, and members of the community should all be prepared to spot behavioral and emotional problems that indicate a child is troubled, know how to "read" problem behavior within a situational or developmental context (if, for example, the child has a history of discipline problems), and know what appropriate action should be taken.
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Date of Last Update: 9/28/01 
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