Giving the Gift of Words to Kids

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We give gifts to those we love at various times—religious holidays, national holidays, life's milestones. And sometimes those gifts become treasures for generations to come. The gift of the written word is one of those treasures.

There's a story about a procrastinating young man—a grandson—who waited until the very last moment to get his grandma a gift. Stuck, he quickly dashed off a card to her with a message about a gift that would be forthcoming. It was this: Every week for the next year, he promised, he would write to her. Driven by his guilt, he did indeed fulfill this promise, although at first it was a task done as an obligation rather than a joy. The promise fulfilled turned out to be a gift of correspondence over a span of years; it became a treasure.

The story is from "How to Start a Tradition," a chapter in a book called Families Writing by Peter R. Stillman (Writers Digest Books, 1989).

"People who learn the real uses of writing early in life and are sustained in them at home have relatively little trouble with school writing," writes Stillman. There are a lot of reasons to write. Writing to learn. Writing to remember. Writing to say what's on your mind. Writing just for fun.

"Russian poet Yevgeny Yevtushenko wrote, 'In any man who dies there dies with him his first snow and kiss and fight,'" reports Stillman. Then countering with, "Not if he gets it on paper, though; not if he's encouraged from early childhood to write it down."

Maybe this is the perfect time to get a correspondence going with a youngster. Even a short note, with a question at the end encouraging a response. Topics? How about your thoughts on the admirable qualities you see in the child. How about, You remind me so much of your Uncle Joe when you smile, because Uncle Joe's smile would light up a storm when he was your age... What makes you the happiest? Or, I remember one of the best presents I got when I was your age. It was a ... What's your very favorite present?

One of the great things about corresponding with a child is an unspoken, but important, message: We are people who value writing, thinking about things, communicating, keeping in touch. If a child lives in another town, a package of notepaper with pre-addressed, stamped envelopes would be just the thing to get things started. And for a child in your own home, notes placed where the child can easily find them works just fine. With loving correspondence with a child, spelling doesn't count, punctuation doesn't count, and run-on sentences don't amount to a teensy grain in the sands of time. These technical things are left for another time.

For now, it truly is only the thought that counts.

This column by Karen Lytle Blaha is provided as a public service by the Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory, a nonprofit institution working with schools and communities in Alaska, Idaho, Montana, Oregon, and Washington.