The Comfort Corner,
Helen Baller Elementary School (Camas, Washington)
Being able to think imaginatively, resolve conflicts with grace, trade ideas with others and feel compassion are the building blocks of human relationships...How different some adults' lives would be if they had learned these skills as children (Heidemann & Hewitt, 1992).At Helen Baller Elementary School in Camas, Washington, staff members have defined education broadly, to include emotional as well as academic competence. They feel that establishing caring relationships, building on strengths, offering choices, and encouraging responsibility, problem solving, and communications skills are key to establishing a community where all children can learn. One of the key resources for their literacy curriculum, Highlight My Strengths by Leanna Traill, quotes a Maori saying: "Highlight my strengths, and my weaknesses will disappear." To convey that message, the entire staff works together to support children and their families. "Education," as a poster in the school announces, "takes everyone."
The Comfort Corner plays an integral role in the school community. Part of the Primary Intervention Program (PIP), it provides a safe, supportive place for all children to "get a healthy start in school by helping to build friendship skills, communication skills, and self-esteem." Funded by a state grant, the PIP has been in operation since 1990 and serves children who may be experiencing difficulty in classroom, playground, or home situations. Children are selected on the recommendation of parents, teachers, and other staff members.
Parents, in particular, are an important part of the program, sharing their views about their children and helping to set goals for their children's growth, as well as benefiting from both formal and informal parenting education. "We try hard to honor all parent requests. No one knows the kids like parents do," explains child development assistant (CDA) Kathy Duley. Based on research on resiliency, which found that one of the key protective factors for resilient children is a relationship with a caring adult (Werner & Smith, 1992), Duley has served as "a special friend and supportive listener" to approximately 300 children since the program began. She provides the one-on-one attention and support that many children need in order to grow into competent and caring adults.
The Role of the Child Development Assistant
According to Helen Baller's parent handbook, the CDA offers children assistance in a variety of ways, including: "providing a committed, accepting human relationship, encouragement of appropriate expression of feelings, assistance in developing coping behaviors, providing structure/limits within a caring relationship, providing an escape from stress of school and peer worries, and advocacy for the child (helps others to see him/her as a lovable child)."
How does Duley, whose excitement about her job is contagious, accomplish all this? "They think they just come in and play," she says of the kids in her charge. Which isn't surprising - in the comfort corner, for about forty minutes every week, children sing, dance, read stories, draw and paint pictures, watch videos, make snacks for guests, play with puppets, write letters, play games, and talk. No wonder children frequently ask her, "What do I have to do to get in your room?"
Although the Comfort Corner is a tiny office space adjacent to the music room, it is filled with children's art and equipped with bright blue child-size sofas and chairs, stuffed animals, puppets, overflowing book shelves, a tape player, and a small space for dancing - all the things a child might need to feel at home. During the first weeks of school, activities center around building trust and self-esteem. "Kids won't open up if they're not confident," says Duley. "I let them know from the get-go that, with the exception of abuse, what they say is between them and me." Duley uses a variety of tools to open up conversation. "Initially, I introduce the speaking ball that we use when it's our turn to share, and I tell them a little about myself and my family - my husband, our cat, my three children and my seven grandchildren."
While part of the time is spent working on social skills and basic life skills, such as what to wear in the snow or how to make and serve a snack to a friend, it is feelings that have center stage in the Comfort Corner. A feelings chart helps children recognize and talk about their feelings, but of course children don't just talk - they also sing, read aloud, act out, and paint their feelings. Duley might ask them to draw a picture of how they feel today or a time when they felt sad, angry, or happy. Or after watching a video of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Duley asks, "What was the worst day you ever had?" Then they talk about and illustrate it.
Music helps lighten the tone, and circle time is used for singing, dancing, and affection. Even for children who are not comfortable with hugging, "circle hugs" - a hand squeeze acknowledged with an "I got it," and "sent" to the next circle partner - helps everyone feel included and valued. In follow-the-leader, everyone in circle matches the leader's expression. "A lot of children think it's not OK to be angry," explains Duley, "so I tell them, 'Show me how to look angry. Let it shine!'"
Book shelves spill over with stories about bad dreams, bad days, divorce, and every imaginable kind of feeling. On the Day You Were Born and I'll Love You Forever are favorites. "Many children hear, 'If it weren't for you things would be better, I wouldn't have to work so hard, we'd have more money,' notes Duley." These stories help them imagine a happier family."
Imagining is something the children do a lot. Duley invites them to imagine a perfect day or asks, "What would you do if you were president?" And many of the answers belie the playful nature of the activities and the idea of carefree childhood: "On my perfect day, I would go out and work and surprise my mom with a whole bunch of groceries." "If I were president, I would give everyone a dollar and then they would have money." "I would make abuse against the law and then my dad wouldn't hit my mom." "I'd bring back to life the person my father murdered so then my dad wouldn't be in jail anymore."
A worry box provides a tangible way to relieve anxiety. Children write down their most pressing worry and talk about it with the group - what they can do about it, how they feel about it. Then when they are ready to get rid of it, they put it in the box. But they know it's OK to say on another day, "I have that worry again," and they can start the process all over again. "The worry box gives children permission not to worry," Duley says. "I always have a plan for the day, but the kids set the mood. If they have something pressing to discuss, we always work on that first."
Brain research has demonstrated that emotions can speed up or inhibit the thinking process. Under conditions of high stress, the brain goes into "survival mode," and higher-order thinking is impeded. Creating a psychologically safe environment that fosters emotional intelligence, then, is not a frill to be addressed only after the basics are attended to; for young children, such an environment is essential for learning. And although in many schools there are few opportunities to talk about feelings and concerns, children's ability to learn is often jeopardized by the neglect of their emotional wellbeing. "When children are worried about Dad going to jail, not enough money to pay the rent, or parents fighting, learning is the last thing on their mind," notes Duley.
Every year, between one and three children in Duley's class who are "school phobic" - children who are extremely anxious and even physically sick at the thought of school. Depending on the severity of the problem, Duley might ride the bus with them, meet them at the door, let them spend the first few minutes of the day in the Comfort Corner, and/or let them use as many as three tickets a day for time in the Comfort Corner during the school day. By the end of the year, these children need less time with Duley and when they are in the comfort corner, they are usually helping her. Duley believes the first step in helping children overcome fear is helping them understand that, "everyone has fears about something, and it's OK to feel afraid." In fact, feeling OK about feelings is a central message at the comfort corner.
It's OK To Be Mad But It's Not OK To Be Mean
"It has basically been a life-saver for us. I wish all kids could have this program," explains Jenny Sorenson, mother of Max, a successful graduate of the PIP Program:
Although our son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) before kindergarten, we wanted to work on our parenting skills, rather than using medication. But when Max entered school, I visualized a free parking place right in front of the principal's office - I knew I would wear a path between home and school because of his behavior and quick temper.
But in the Comfort Corner with Kathy, he has learned to talk about and express his feelings in an acceptable way. Now he tells me, "Mom you really made me angry when you wouldn't let me wear my red shirt with my blue pants." Or he tells his dad, "Dad, you can take me to the park at 8:30; that's what they have street lights for." Then we can talk about it and work out a solution. Before he would just blow up.
His communication skills have really improved. He doesn't need to be reminded to use them. When a Portland Trail Blazer player punched a fan, he told us, "I should send him my sign that says, 'It's OK to be mad but it's not OK to be mean.' He could put it in his living room like I do. Then he wouldn't have to punch people."Max agrees with his mother's assessment. An unusually mature, articulate child of seven, Max appears at ease as he recounts his first experiences in the Comfort Corner:
At first, I was kind of shy. But then I got to know Kathy and felt comfortable. We talked a lot about feelings, so I didn't feel sad and mad all the time. If I have a problem, I don't say, 'I don't want to talk about it' like I used to. I can talk about how I feel - angry, sad, down, left out.
And sometimes I don't feel like talking. Sometimes I just handle it myself. I go in my room and put up a sign that says, 'Don't come in.' Then I climb up on my bunk bed and hang on the bars and think of something to do. I know that it's OK to feel mad and sad. Some people laugh when people cry, but you don't have to be shy about crying. It's OK to cry; some kids don't know that. And that's OK too.After participating in the program for two years, Max and his parents are confident that he can be successful in any of Helen Baller's classrooms. The friendship skills, communication skills, refusal skills, and conflict-resolution skills learned and practiced in the Comfort Corner have transferred to his home, the playground, and the classroom. While in the past he might have been tempted to use force to resolve a conflict, he is now able to reflect on a situation and evaluate his own responsibility in creating and solving it:
Sometimes kids on the playground like to start a fight. I try to handle it myself by telling them no; but if they punch me, I tell a teacher. I think it started when I brought my karate trophies to sharing time in the first grade. I got a reputation as a tough guy. Some kids don't know how to stand up for themselves, and they keep asking me to beat up other kids for them. Boy, do I wish I had never brought those karate trophies to school!Despite ongoing challenges, Max is enthusiastic about the program and explains that he learned a lot and enjoyed himself too. "My favorite part was making pictures and when we wrote the president. We got to write about what we would do if we were president. I said I would stop nuclear wars - I mean nuclear activities. I'm not so worried about wars any more, but there are way too many wars going on - it's really starting to get stupid." Max also loved the many stories they read and discussed. His favorite story, The Great Blueness, is "about a kid who was feeling left out and wouldn't talk to anyone. I learned a lot from that book. I try to learn everything I can about what I see, do, and hear. I may be a scientist when I grow up."
At the age of eight, despite a diagnosis of ADHD, behavior problems, and a "quick temper," Max has formed a positive self-image as a learner. Because the attitudes and patterns of learning established in the early years tend to persist, fostering a positive self-image is crucial for future success in school and beyond (Entwisle, 1995).
Effectiveness of the PIP
The response to the PIP - from parents, children, and staff - has been overwhelmingly positive. The program plays a pivotal role in helping children like Max - whose parents have the skills, resources, and motivation to provide needed support - to meet all the goals of the program: developing communication skills, problem-solving skills and coping skills; learning to play cooperatively; improving self-esteem; building an interest in making new friends; and bringing out individual strengths. But despite the additional services of a half-time counselor for children with serious difficulties, not all children fare so well. Notes Duley:
We work with kids who probably aren't going to make it; they will drop out, end up in trouble - become abusers or abused. You just hope you can give them enough tools so they can beat the odds, something that connects that will help them have the determination to change things. But some will never change because they live it all day every day. All schools can do is give them a safe place to come for six hours a day.However, combined with a supportive school climate, the PIP is able to bring about, in the words of Superintendent Milt Dennison, "a positive turnaround in the lives" of many students and their families. Although most children spend only one or two years in the program, the relationships formed there are enduring. "All my kids are special," says Duley. "They can come see me any time. Our relationship doesn't end when they leave."
Nor are benefits of the Primary Intervention Program confined to the children and families who directly receive services. The philosophy of the PIP and Duley's Comfort Corner - establishing caring relationships, building on strengths, offering choices, and encouraging responsibility, problem solving, and communication skills - is integrated into the school community. "A primary goal of education at Helen Baller," explains principal Pat Edwards, "is to allow children to explore and problem solve; we want to make children aware that they have something to say about what happens, that they can make a choice and that their choices do matter."
Parent Survey at Mary Harrison Elementary School (Toledo, Oregon) (pdf format) Conclusion
Research on resiliency has shown that schools that establish high expectations for all kids - and give them the support necessary to live up to the expectations - have high rates of academic success (Benard, 1993). In psychologically safe environments that offer stimulating activities and opportunities to from relationships that are personally meaningful, children form a positive self-image as learners, problem solvers, friends, and family members. Schools, Garmezy (1991) points out, have become a vital refuge for a growing number of children, often "serving as a protective shield to help children withstand the multiple vicissitudes that they can expect from a stressful world."
Learning how to recognize and manage emotions, understanding how others think and feel, and developing the ability to form caring relationships are essential competencies for children to grow into adults who are able to "live well, love well, and expect well"(Werner & Smith, 1992). School-based child and family support programs provide a safe, supportive environment to learn and practice these competencies. By including families in a caring community of learners, such programs foster resiliency for all: children, families, and school staffs.
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This document's URL is: © 2001 Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory
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